Maybe it's just me being odd, but from time to time I find the irresistible urge to try and find out what my contemporaries from school are doing nowadays. I'm not interested in fiends reunited, and, frankly, most of the people I went to school with were not my friends. But that doesn't stop me being extremely curious as to whether any of them have done anything interesting/salacious/illegal in the meantime, and to try and find out whether it's been chronicled somewhere on the wondrous interweb.
All I have managed to uncover so far is that stupid people seem to be making more money and living in more interesting parts of the world than I am.
This is not the way to make myself feel that my life is great - perhaps I should purchase a breed of silly dog (like a sausage dog), something I have often considered as a way of replicating a sense of personal superiority. I'd get up each day, see the raw end of evolution manifest in a ludicrous animal, and think to myself "hey, my life is actually pretty good after all!".
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